But in the end, Irvin’s urgency wasn’t for me.
Without a second thought, he swam straight to Julianne, cradled her, and made his way to the edge. He didn’t even glance in my direction. Not once.
I couldn’t understand it.
Why, when I’d already forgotten him and let go of my love, did it still hurt so much?
The pond was deep. Jeremy had insisted on it because he loved deep–water swimming.
The depth overwhelmed me as I sank lower, struggling to find something to hold on to, but there was nothing. As I drifted deeper, I heard Julianne’s voice, soft and frantic.
“Irvin, save Millie! Hurry!”
Then came his cold, detached reply. “Leave her. She can swim. She’ll be fine.”
I was drowning in fear and panic, barely able to breathe. But his words made my mind go blank.
Right, I could swim!
Back in college, I had even won a national swimming championship. How could I have forgotten? How could I lose all sense of reason and succumb to fear the moment I hit the water?
I fought to remember and summon the instinct to swim to the surface.
I didn’t want to die–not after enduring so much pain and so many hardships that made life seem unbearable. I had survived all that. I didn’t want to die here.
I tried desperately to remember how to swim, but instead, a different memory surfaced.
I finally realized why I couldn’t swim anymore.
It was because of that one time Irvin took me on a beach vacation in an uncharacteristic display of kindness. Originally, it was supposed to be just the two of us.
But then, as always, he brought Julianne along. Angry and hurt, I refused to join them at the beach.
When night fell, and Irvin still hadn’t returned, I grew worried and went looking for him. I ran into Julianne, who seemed alarmed as she told me Irvin had gone swimming in deep water and hadn’t come back. She didn’t know what to do.
