Chapter 22
“What. What are you talking about?”
Her hand slams into the locker door beside my head, making me flinch.
“Don’t play dumb with me, bimbo. I’ve figured it out. I know all about your little game plan”
When I don’t say anything in return, she scoffs.
“I don’t know why you can’t just stick to one boy, I knew it. From the time you went to that New Years party, you’ve been gunning for Oliver since then, haven’t you? No..even earlier than that
“That’sss not what-
“But you ended up with Alex. Alex, of all people. But you’re still so fuckin‘ unhappy, huh? Have to try to steal my boyfriend, too?”
I feel irritation bubbling in my chest. And usually, I would just let it g
it go, not wanting to bother with people who don’t listen.
But I’m very done with this mess, and I don’t want anything more so do with this. So, if I want it done. I have to nip it in the bud myself.
“Noco, captain of the hockey team isn’t enough for a little drama dweeb who can’t even speak right. You have to—”
“You’re the one. Who
“Shut up and don’t interrupt me–Ah!”
I shove her away, much to her surprise. To an extent, it’s to my surprise, too. Had it been me just a few months a would be impossible.
ago, getting physical with anyone
But I just. I’m so tired of being beaten down like this all the time. I’m tired of taking the brunt of everything from people who think they know all the details but barely know the half of it.
Just a bunch of self–righteous assholes.
“You’re the one who attacked me first!”
“What the Attacked! Hah, as if you could-
“I wasss freezing cold in there! Whoever shoved me Left me in the dark! And I couldn’t see! Could’ve drowned! You attacked me! Tried to blame things on me! Tripped me! And you know nothing!”
Danielle falters, surprised by my outburst. But the bolsters herself again, getting angry
“It’s all because I don’t want some bitch sucking up to my boyfriend!”
“He wasss mine first!”
“Oh, don’t even. You delusional-
1 slam my fist against the lockers behind me, interrupting her. No. She’s going to hear me
She’s going to listen.
“Swix months!”
My throat feel like it’s closing up, but I force the words out. My eyes hurt, too, hot with tears.
“I wasss dating him for six months! And we told no one because he convinced me that he jusss–just wanted things to be silent! Didn’t wand! RIT–rumond”
Danielle opened her mouth.
“Just shut up forrr oner in your goddamn life and lissstent”
Then, eyes wide, her lips snapped shut.
My chest hurts so badly. I want to stop talking. I can feel Dad’s eyes bearing down on my back, but…
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Chapter 22
Fist clenched in the front of my clothes, I keep going. Tim. Im going to be heard this time.
“Dating For monthsss. And the New Yearsss” Swallow. Breathe. “S–Six months. Date. We were going to eat. But he never showed up. Ss–so I tried to find him. Went to the party. Found you two there
My hands cover my eyes, finding solace in the darkness I made for myse
for myself. Just so
I don’t have to see the look on her face.
“He was dating me. But cheating With you. To me, you’ve alwaysss been the other girl. Not me. Then, Alex. He helped me becaussse Oliver was just. Gonna Throw me away. Outside. And he helped me. So we talked more. And s–started dating. That’sss us now.”
A sob wrenches its way out of my throat before I can stop it
“I jussst want to be left alone, Oliver wouldn’t leave me alone. Now he will. Ask him why he’s got bruisss–bruises. Why Alexsss–Alex’s fists are all bandaged. He’ll leave me alone now. But you Jussst_stop Stop”
My legs give way and I crumple slowly to the ground, curling in with my forehead against my knees.
“I know. I’m casssy. To hate. To tarrr–target. But stop.”
“Why the hell should I believe anything you say?”
“Then don’t.”
I look up from under my hair. I’m not sure what kind of expression I’m making, but Danielle doesn’t like it. She backs up a step.
Backs away from me.
“Asss–Ask Oliver, But get away from me.”
I stare hard at her, not breaking eye contact. It’s hard to do with tears burning my eyes with salt, but I need her to understand. I need her to take what I’ve said to heart and actually do something with it
Or. at the very least, get away from me, like I’ve asked.
And she does, eventually.
Danielle keeps trying to come up with something to say, but words appear to fall her each time she looks into my eyes. After a few times of trying to find the right words, she huffs. Then, she stomps off, leaving me alone.
I wait until I can’t hear her shoes echoing in the hallway anymore before I curl back up. My eyes press against my knees, giving them a soothing pressure to release the pain behind my retinas. The tears soaking into my jeans feel hot like blood.
My chest twists in agony, and I hnd I really don’t want to be alone. I want to be left alone by Oliver, Danielle, Charlie, any of these other people who just refuse to listen to me when it matters most
For once, maybe I’d like someone to hold my hand and tell me things are okay. Or, at th
the very least, they will be.
Maybe I’m tired of struggling against bullies summoned against me for reasons outside of my control.
Maybe I’m tired of feeling tired. Of crying. Of ripping open the scabs that keep forming each time I get hurt so they can maybe finally scar the next time and heal over stronger.
But no matter how strong I try to be about it, I’m still so very weak.
A few minutes pass before I feel enough energy to move.
Instead
of getting up from my position, I fish my phone from my pocket.
I try to go to my text messages, but my fingers are too clumsy. Or maybe they just act on what I really want instead of what I tried to do. So, instead of texting Alex, I start calling him by accident.
Of course, he picks up.
“Hey”
He immediately sounds serious. It’s not normal for us to talk on the phone instead of text, after all.
“Cynthia Cynthia, you alright?”
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Chapter 22
My arm feel like it’s made of lead, but I drag my phone up to my ear
“Cynthia“”
As always, he sounds so nice. My eyes close as I hear the subtle harmony in the cadence of his voice
Mnot okay”
“Tuck_What happened! Was it Oliver again!”
-Who, I
n‘ Tell me, and-
then
I don’t really recognize it at first, but I realize that I’m smiling. Just slightly.
“Iws_okay Just, Wanted to, Hear you.”
I hear him breathing on the other side. Then he clears his throat
“Just wanted to hear me, huh?”
“Yeah_“I breathe out.
He clears his throat again. I’m not sure why. He doesn’t sound stuffy.
“Then…you don’t want to talk about what happened?”
I shake my head at first, before realizing he can’t see me. “No. Just talk, pleassse?”
ШЕ ИЧМ ЧЕ
Pfft. Of all the ways I could be objectified, you sure have a strange way of d
doing it
“Mmh
Well. Ah, heard that Henry’s getting better. The cut on his check was pretty bad and he’ll have a gnarly scar after that, but he’s going to be okay. He probably won’t be playing for a good while, though. Not that I blame him. Hell, it got pretty close to his eye there. Honestly, I’m still not sure what got Oliver so tripped up.”
And Ales starts chatting away.
I listen quietly from my end, humming occasionally, feeling my heartbeat slow down.
If Oliver was a guiding light….I think Alex would be something better.
Something that encompasses all of my senses and draws them in
I find that I don’t mind that thought so much anymore.
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