I didn’t bother denying it. Sometimes, it was necessary to get everything off one’s chest in order to let go of the past completely.
“That’s right. You were special to me back then. I had feelings for you. Perhaps I might’ve truly fallen in love with you if Elaine hadn’t shown up and allowed me to see your true nature. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have been able to leave as easily as I did two years ago.”
Ian had an emotional breakdown. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you reject me when I confessed my feelings for you?”
As I recalled the past, the scars left from that period of my life stung a little.
“Because I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”
Ever since we were children, Ian had always been the most brilliant of the three of us. He was the one who brought me into the pharmaceutical industry with him. He kept guiding me, protecting me, and supporting me.
As I got older, I was drawn to his maturity and dependability. I started developing romantic feelings for him. Yet, when he confessed his feelings for me, I backed away.
During our company gatherings, the female colleagues would often wonder about the kind of woman fan would like.
“He’s such a talented and accomplished young man. It’s such a shame he comes from a poor background and doesn’t have the right connections to help him. I heard that the chairman’s daughter is interested in him. If they do end up together, Ian’s going to be set for life!”
When I heard that, I dropped my work, and everyone turned toward me.
Someone asked, “Belle, you and Ian are close. What kind of a woman do you think he likes?”
Forcing myself to smile, I replied, “Probably a talented and accomplished one too.”
While the other colleagues nodded in agreement, I focused on my food and tried to cut up my steak. However, I was too clumsy and inexperienced to do it properly.
At the time, I was just an ordinary employee with the lowest qualifications and the most meager background out of everyone in the office. I’d never even had a steak before, nor did I understand the etiquette of fine dining.
I would only be a burden to Ian.
The droplets of tears that fell onto the tablecloth soon vanished without a trace, but my insecurity and lack of confidence remained.
When we were children, Ian gave up his chance at adoption for Cameron and me. Was I going to continue to be a burden to him, forcing him to remain in the struggle among the bottom rung of society with me?
Once you truly loved someone, the first lesson involved learning how to care for them, and the last involved learning how to let go.
