102 – Something Important
Mar 20, 2025
Nicolas POV
“Friends and beloveds,” a priest’s voice chimed in my ears, while sad whimpering surrounded me. “We have gathered here today to honor our dear Beta John. Death has taken away a genuinely wonderful pack member, and more importantly, a loving mate and father…”
My heart clenched in my chest. Everything seems so unreal. I struggled to comprehend Beta John’s absence. He sacrificed his life to save mine, and now I was standing next to his open grave giving him my last respect.
My hands clenched into fists. He deserves more than just respect. He deserves to be revenged.
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Yet the same scene flashed before my eyes—Beta John’s last moments.
“That should have been me,” I muttered under my breath. His brutal death leaves an indelible mark on my memory. “He sacrifices himself to save mine.”
“Are you okay, Alpha?” Ronan mused next to me. He must have heard me mumble to myself. Since we discovered I couldn’t shift, he has remained by my side.
I internally sighed.
If Ronan discovers that Ray has disappeared from my mind, he will lose his composure. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight, nor let me leave the pack house. It was unheard of that a wolf could lose his wolf.
I felt empty, cold, and alone. Ray’s absence was taking a toll on my mental and emotional state.
“No,” I replied honestly. “I am not.”
“Are you not feeling well? Would you like to leave?” He asked, placing his hand supportively on my shoulder.
I didn’t hesitate. I could feel everyone’s disapproving gazes on me. They blamed me for their beloved Beta’s death.
My gaze shifted to where Levi stood holding his mother in his arms. His two brothers’ arms encircled the two of them. When Lev’s mother learned that her mate had died to save me, she didn’t even flinch at the news. However, now, here at the funeral, she seemed almost relieved, as if she was proud of what he had done.
Her soft eyes shifted to me. A small, tender smile followed on her lips. There was no resentment readable in her eyes—just pure love and hope.
“Yes,” I finally replied.
Ronan nodded to the group of warriors, and he started steering me toward the fleet of cars.
Ronan opened the car door for me, and I quickly got in, feeling emotionally and physically spent.
Was I becoming human more and more?
How much time do I have left?
I sighed; my eyes turned toward the roof of the car.
I let out a long and tired breath.
Will I have time to say goodbye to my friends and family? Will I be able to say my goodbye to Zara?
I sighed hopelessly. My heart is breaking painfully in my chest at the thought that I would never see her again.
Levi spoke to her moments after the attack, and then she disappeared once more without any trace.
Levi went to find her, finding only Luke. They were ambushed, and she escaped into the forest.
I couldn’t bear to think of what had happened to her.
Was she still alive?
Was she well? Was she hurt?
I shook my head knowingly. I would have been in excruciating pain if she had died and crossed over.
How will I be able to track and find her now? I don’t have any wolf abilities left.
My heart pinched, and tears well up in my eyes. How could everything spiral so out of control?
I miss Zara. I truly miss everything about her. My heart ached and longed for her.
My fingers started feeling numb, and my body started having this strange pin-and-needle feeling. A moment later, my body experienced the most excruciating pain, which persisted for only a few seconds. The pain had become a regular occurrence, as if someone was purposefully electrocuting me from within.
Ronan got into the car, followed by one of the warriors. He gave me one look, shaking his head.
“Sit back and relax, Alpha,” he mused from the driver’s seat. “Lay back your head and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and calm your mind. We will be home soon.”
I nodded and did exactly what Ronan said. I slowly closed my eyes, feeling exhausted—an aftermath of being in excruciating pain.
Worry and exhaustion gnaw at me. I haven’t slept much after Zara left, and it was merely impossible with everything that was going on.
My mind drifted off as exhaustion took over, but all I could see was an endless river of red.
Blood.
That was now the color of the beautifully decorated ballroom.
My gaze moved over the sea of dead rogues. Their bodies scattered on the white, now red marble floor. The salty iron smell of blood burned the insides of my nose, making me want to puke.
“Nicolas!” Zara’s hysterical voice chimed in my ears.
Was I hallucinating?
