Chapter 57
Chapter 57: Lucas
I launched myself at her. One hand clamping over her mouth. My arm going around her body, pinning her against me.
“I won’t let you, Sutton,” I growled. “Not now.”
She fought against me. Kicking out at whatever she could. She was stronger than she had been and I was struggling to contain her. She was struggling to contain herself. Rhonen whimpered in concern and fear. My hand moved to grip her jaw. My forehead rested on hers.
“Sutton, stop,” I urged. “Stop and listen to me. I won’t let you throw us away without listening.”
She slowly stopped fighting. Her body relaxed slightly. She looked up at me and I thought she was settling. Then her eyes flashed again and her mouth was on mine. Her arms went around my neck and her legs around my waist as she jumped me. Her tongue demanded mine as she pressed her body firmly against me.
A different emotion was in control now.
I should have pulled away immediately, but the scent of her instant arousal was too overwhelming. I’d been away from her all day and was just faced with the possibility of losing her seconds before. I was addicted to her. My body responded. Rhonen responded. I fell to my knees. It wasn’t until I felt her hand around my cock that I was shocked back to reality.
I growled as I grabbed her hand. “Not like this.” She growled in return, trying to continue what she started. But I held her back. “Sutton…. not like this.”
Her wolf suddenly faded from her eyes. I watched the energy drain from her. Her eyes darted around and thoughts tangled through her mind. Tears began to form. She suddenly pushed off of me forcefully and broke free.
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “Of course you don’t want me. I’m too broken.”
“Baby, no…” I reached for her but she shied away again.
“No, don’t touch me,” she cried. “It hurts.” She pulled her knees up to her chest, pushing her fingers into her hair as she began to rock. “It feels so good it hurts. I can’t make it stop.”
“Yes, you can, baby,” I told her. “Your wolf wants to shift but you’re not ready yet. You need to push her back. You need to hold onto who you are.”
“I don’t know who I am,” I sobbed. “I’m nobody. I’m nothing.”
I put my legs on either side of her, grabbing her chin to look at me.
“That’s not true,” I insisted. “Forget the lies, Sutton. Forget what they did to you. Remember what they made you compassionate. That’s who you are. Hold onto that, baby.”
–
strong, intuitive,
She shut her eyes tightly. I encouraged her to take long, deep breaths. Eventually, the fur on her arms disappeared. Her claws receded and her breathing steadied. The tears stopped and I could visibly see the tension leave her body. Most of it at least. I could feel through our bond that things still weren’t okay between us.
“Sutton, baby, I’m so sorry,” I told her genuinely. “I should have told you about Sera.”
Sutton sniffled, brushing away the tears. “So it’s true.”
I sighed. “We were in a relationship, yes,” I admitted. “A long time ago. I never said I didn’t have a past, but I certainly didn’t say anything to make you believe that I did, either. That was wrong of me. I am deeply sorry.”
“You wanted her to be your mate,” she repeated. “She was practically your Luna.”
“No, she wasn’t,” I assured her. “But yes, I did entertain the idea of choosing her as my mate. It was a long time before I met you, Sutton.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said with a pained expression. “I’ve worked so hard to trust you. I’ve built that trust on this bond you say we have. On how sacred and desired it is. You said you’ve never wanted to give that up.”
“That’s why it never happened,” I told her. “Seraphina and I were together early into my rule as Alpha. I was still adjusting to the change while finally able to start grieving the loss of my family. Sera was there. She was genuine. She helped me through a lot of things. As time went on, it started to make sense. Considering most fated mates meet young, I was starting to convince myself I would never find you. But once the idea was out there, it felt wrong. The relationship began to fade after that.”
“She said she left you.”
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Chapter 57
“She did.” I nodded. “But I wasn’t hurt by it. It forced me to accept that I wanted my fated mate. Nothing less.”
Then why did she say there were others?” Sutton asked. “Why did she say you were just stringing me along like all the rest?”
“I never had another serious relationship after Sera, but I have had casual arrangements,” I told her. “Certainly not a string of women like you said. But a few that helped… scratch that itch. To put it delicately. I won’t apologize for that. Casual sex is very common in our society. But from the outside, Sera may have made it more than it ever was with them.” I lifted Sutton’s face. “As for why she told you any of this, well… she doesn’t know you are my fated mate.”
Sutton scoffed softly. “You really think she wouldn’t have done the same thing if she had known?”
“Actually, no, I highly doubt she would,” I said honestly. “She’s not a bad person, Sutton. I’m not happy, nor impressed, with her at this moment, but I still know her character. Just like I know you’re not someone who needs me to lie and say otherwise just to soothe hurt feelings. I deserved your anger. I’m not so sure she does.”
“I wanted to rip her throat out,” Sutton blurted out. Her face turned red and she tried to hide it. “I didn’t like that feeling.”
I kissed the top of my head, taking the chance to wrap my arms around her now that she was letting me touch her again.
“Your wolf is getting stronger,” I told her. “You’re going to feel certain emotions a lot more intensely until your first shift.”
“Ugh. How long is that going to take?”
I chuckled. “You came pretty close tonight. It would have been disastrous if you had, though.”
“Why?”
“You need to connect with her, Sutton,” I said. “You need to hear her speak. Feel her thoughts. Know her consciousness. She’s closer than you think. Rhonen has even sensed her. If you let her in, the rest will follow soon enough.”
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