Chapter 132
Ayla
I had fitful sleep. Every wrong word planted in my head by Della seemed to trigger nightmares I thought were long forgotten. Thane was there to wake me and comfort me every time. His warmth cocooned me all night and his sweet words made me truly feel safe in his arms. It is kind of scary how much I need him and have to stop myself meditating on the wrong thoughts of losing him that try to creep in. I woke up this morning tucked soundly in the bedroom adjoining the nest but felt an empty bed when I reached over to find Thane. In his place,
a note.
Little Wolf;
I had to run into the pack to start meetings first thing this morning.
I plan on addressing some things in front of the pack and we
have intel on the trafficking ring to review and plans to make.
I will be home as soon as I can.
Don’t forget to mind–link me if you need anything.
I also cooked you breakfast and left it in the fridge
Unpack your room today and enjoy the scenery.
I will be back as soon as I can.
Yours,
-T
I am sure the “things” he plans on discussing happen to be Kian and Della, but I can’t think of her too long before the memories of last night start coming back. What I did. The thought is enough to have bile coming up the back of my throat. I can’t start spiraling as soon as I open my eyes. I don’t know how alphas take care of their packs and fight to death for us without living in complete guilt and disgust over their actions. I know they have to and want to protect us and know their duties, but the ability to shut it off and not feel the weight of taking someone’s life is a gift I want and don’t want. I don’t want to be in that position ever again. I also don’t want to lay here and
think about it.
I get up and make my way to the bathroom and downstairs to the kitchen. The house is beautiful, and I am still in shock that it is ours. Thane says I can do whatever I want with it, but it is perfect the way it is. Maybe photos of him growing up would be nice, but I don’t want to cause him painful memories either. We will have to make our
own.
I glance multiple times at the front door while eating my bacon and eggs. I know she can’t possibly still be out there, but a part of me wants to see. That part is probably the part that wants to guilt spiral and is just looking for a reason to do it. I sigh and can no longer eat but decide to head back upstairs and shower before doing whatever
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it is I am going to find myself doing today.
I enter the walk–in closet and start rummaging around. For some reason, I can’t stop myself from gravitating towards Thane’s side. His clothes smell like him. It is comforting, but also building a desire within me that I can’t put words on. Hungry? My mouth is watering with each sniff of his shirts. This is weird. If he was to come home right now, he would find me nose deep in his dress shirts, sniffing away like a wild omega, rubbing her face on his shirts like some kind of weird cat. I stop whatever it is I am doing and head to the shower.
I climb in when the water is so hot it could peel paint off the walls and relax under the sprayer. The tile shower is huge, I am sure designed by Thane to give us plenty of room. I close my eyes and allow myself to visualize him climbing into the shower with me, lifting me up and pushing me into the tile. His lips trail across my mating bite, down my chest and he devours my breasts one at a time. I am moaning his name repeatedly in my head as he works his way down my body as I trail my loofah down mine.
Fates little wolf. What are you doing to me right now. I went from being in a meeting to wanting to jerk myself off under my desk. Moan louder baby.
What? Wait…Can you hear me?
I freeze in the shower, eyes going wide. Did I just mind–link all of that?
Yes, I can hear you; you’re moaning my name to me and sent so much lust down the bond I doubled over my desk trying to maintain control. Now what are you doing little wolf? Are you touching yourself thinking about me?
I am so embarrassed. No. I am not touching myself. I am showering and thinking about you.
Don’t ever be embarrassed. We don’t do that. Now, do it some more. Touch yourself slowly. Tell me what you are doing.
I am getting out of the shower, totally embarrassed is what I am doing. Apparently, I need to figure out this mind–link thing some more and my skin is really itchy. I don’t know why. I feel like my skin is crawling.
I think it is time for you to go to your nest room and start going through some things little wolf.
I don’t know how to make a nest.
You do. It will come to you. Just feel. You are an omega and omega’s make nests.
I leave the shower, probably as red as a tomato physically and emotionally after interrupting Thane and find a new robe waiting on the hook for me. I dry off and put it on. It is gray, fury and puffy. It feels like a chinchilla. The softest thing I have ever put on to date. I find myself rubbing my hands back and forth on it. If I had a blanket that felt like this, I would never leave my bed. Or my nest. Maybe there is one in the nest room. There are boxes and boxes of items, surely there is one chinchilla like blanket.
I start unpacking boxes of items. There are tons of fleece and fur blankets. Neutral colors, bold colors. It is like Thane didn’t care and bought the whole store. I run my hands over them feeling textures and checking lengths. Aramana is purring within me, and I am starting to feel calmer. This feels right. I pick up a large, black fleece blanket and place it against the half wall of the California king bed. Within minutes I am stacking, arranging, and weaving blankets against the wall and around the bed. One blanket piled on top of another. I scoot back and look at my work. Not stable. I start to grab more blankets and weave them within the rows of “blanket walls” I have made encircling the bed. More stable. I leave the bed and start opening more boxes. More blankets and throw
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pillows. I line the head of the bed with a wall of throw pillows. I place some at the foot too. Why? I don’t know. Maybe more structural support? Maybe I should put some all around the base of my walls.
I don’t know what I am doing, but I also know what feels right and what feels wrong. Something isn’t right. It’s missing Thane. I leap out of my nest and head to the closet and start pulling down shirts that smell the most like him and rummage through his dirty laundry as well, which is dirty boxers and his suit. Boxers smell like him, so I add them to the pile growing in my arms and head back to my nest.
