Chapter 19
Ayla
“Do you know why they kept you so long and not the others?” That question has me feeling panicked and I think Thane can probably sense my alarm. Do I
tell him? Do I tell him I am the reason my entire family is dead? That it is my fault my family was slaughtered in front of me? That my first shift ruined my entire life? I stare into his green eyes while he stares back waiting. If I trust him with this secret, it could destroy his entire pack. Or, they could sell me off to someone else. They could kill me just like my family. I don’t think I can do this. My eyes dart back and forth across his handsome face, attempting to find a way out of answering this question. “Do you know and not want me to know little wolf?” I nod my head “no.” and look down at my hands full of shame. “Then don’t tell me now. Tell me later when you trust me more.” He calmly tells me and reaches out to rub his thumb over my hand. I look up at him and realize I do trust him a little, although I find myself still in denial, waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. “Is there anything you would like me to know Ayla?” Is there? I’m not sure what to say, but find myself writing “I can’t cry” down on my note pad.
“You can’t cry little wolf? Do you mean that you want to cry, but can’t? Why can’t you cry?” I take a moment to write my answer down for him, not sure how he will feel about it, but I feel like he should know for some reason. “The warden likes it when I scream and cry so I stopped doing both. It was the only thing I had control over.” He reads back to me and looks at me with sadness. His eyes intermittently flashing gold, telling me Ronan isn’t happy with what he read. “Any shifter that needs to bring pain and suffering on someone to get off doesn’t deserve his wolf and needs to be put down. I promise you Ayla, I will kill the warden in my prison and any other shifter that caused you pain and suffering. You will cry again, but next time you do it will be because you want to and you will be happy when you do it.” I stare into his eyes and can tell he means what he says, but I pay no attention to the promise. Promises aren’t real. I don’t care who is making them. I can tell he means what he is saying, but I don’t think he understands fully my extent of hopelessness that I battle with off and on throughout the day.
“Little wolf, would it be alright if I ate supper with you in here tonight? You can write down any questions you have for me about myself or the pack and I can try my best to answer them for you.” He asks me with a vulnerability he may not show others in his eyes. The question has me feeling slightly nervous, but eager. I nod my head “yes.” “Great. I will be back later on tonight, let’s say 7? I will have some food sent up and we can just eat and talk about anything that comes up or I can answer any questions you may have.” He stands up and I do as well. I only come up to his sternum. I look up and I see that he is already smiling down at me. I smile slightly and lower my head as I begin to blush. Thane leans down with his mouth next to my ear and whispers “you can look down all you want little wolf, but i know you’re blushing for me. I immediately dart my eyes up to his, turning redder which causes him to laugh and show me his dimples. “Don’t worry little wolf, as white as your skin is it would rather difficult to hide your blush. I also enjoy seeing it.” He quickly clears his throat. “I mean, in the sense that if you are blushing, then you aren’t upset, and you not upset makes me happy. I should be going. I will be back later.”
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