Chapter 75
Dad, oh fates…fuck. Why” he yells out and bolts his eyes open, jerking awake like fell off of a cliff, while I am gently rubbing circles
you doing in here. Shif, I am sorry. Did i on his chest and cupping a cheek. He looks so scared and broken. “Ayja, what……what are wake you? Are you okay?” I nod “yes” to him while still rubbing his chest. He places his large, calloused hand over mine on top of his chest and leans into my touch on his cheek, closing his saddened green eyes. “It was just a nightmare little wolf. I will be okay. You should get some rest. Tomorrow is a bad day for me and the nightmares are always worse this time of the year. Thank you for waking me up. I am sorry I disturbed you. I mean it. I want you to rest. He looks wide awake now, but I feel like I am close to passing out. My eyes are heavy and tired. The thought of getting up and leaving him to another nightmare seems like a wrong thing to do. Horrible. He has helped me so much; I can help him.
I scoot down in the bed and place my head on his chest. ff it is unwanted, he can make a more serious attempt at getting me back to my room. Instead, he drops his hand to my hair and starts playing with the ends of it. I snuggle in tight and close. I push back all attempts my brain makes to worry about Kian. We aren’t mated, and Thane needs me. I will worry about it tomorrow. Right now, we just need to rest. He clears his throat, almost a low hum as he continues playing with my hair. I must say, I like it a lot. It feels good. I didn’t realize, something as soft and simple could feel so nice
I close my eyes just as he starts talking again. “My mother and father couldn’t cope after my sister was murdered. They both became really depressed. My father gave up his duties. My mother and father died in a murder suicide. They blamed themselves for everything. Who did what and who pulled the trigger isn’t important. The fact remains, I have more in common with you then you realize little wolf. I look up into his eyes to see him wiping away another tear. He looks at his hand like the act of crying alone is treacherous. Something he clearly doesn’t allow himself to do. I too understand that. I don’t want him to lose his emotions the way I lost mine. I want him to feel. No matter what it is. I realize that blocking off my emotions was my way of stopping myself from feeling. Probably makes me a coward.
I trace the path the tear made, and I so badly want to lean up and kiss him. To give himself something to feel good about, but I can’t. I don’t have my answers about Della, the whole Kian thing is a shit storm brewing with me in Thane’s bed, and I don’t want to take advantage of his emotional state. Instead, I give him a kiss on the cheek and scoot back down, curling myself into him. He wraps one arm under my head as he tucks me tight against his side, rolling so his chin is on top of my head and his arms are wrapped around my body. I am in a Thane cocoon. Snuggled deep and warm. His arms are heavy and strong. I am protected, shielded from the world. This place here, the safest in the world. He throws one of his legs over my hip and pulls me impossibly deeper into him. One of his hands goes down to the lower part of my back, and it sprawls out on my smooth skin that is exposed from my tank top that rode up and the heat of his hand is grounding I want to be closer. I want to meld into him. I want him inside of me. I want him all around me. I cannot get enough of him. At this point, it isn’t even arousal. It isn’t about how hot he is or how nice he is. I have this overwhelming urge to sink into him. I can’t explain it. I need him closer, but he can’t get any closer than he is.
I hold him tight. Squeezing as hard as I can. He is my lifeline right now. I may succumb to death if I don’t keep breathing him in. He is all that matters right now. He squeezes me back harder, wrapping his thick arms impossibly tighter around me. Needing to feel me as much as I feel him. I feel a soft kiss on top of my head, and I know that tonight, something has shifted. We have recognized ourselves in each other. This bond, the experiences and trauma that caused it, drawing us together. Two shifters broken. Needing to be whole. Belonging to a club nobody wants to be in.
