“Mom, did you ever stop to think about your daughter? I know I can’t destroy him. But just the thought of them still standing there, polished and put together like nothing happened, makes me feel like I’m being stabbed over and over again!
“They’re the ones who did something wrong. So, why should they get to live comfortably while I’m drowning in pain? Mom, I can’t breathe with all this anger. Every day, it’s suffocating me. I can’t take it anymore!”
These past few days, I came to a realization. Regardless of whether I ended up divorcing or suffering in the process, there was one thing I had to do at any cost.
I needed to let out all this rage.
If this anger stayed with me, I would never be at peace. And if I wasn’t at peace, I would never find clarity.
Standing in the middle of this storm, I finally understood why so many betrayed wives exploded in such wild, desperate fury when they caught their husbands‘ mistresses in person.
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Chapter 10
All the screaming, the chaos, the complete disregard for dignity–I got it now.
They weren’t always like that. They were once warm, hopeful women who loved their families and their lives. However, when the person they trusted most suddenly betrayed them and their world crumbled overnight, it filled them with rage at having been deceived for so long.
Not only that, but it also left them terrified and uncertain of the future. Such a raw, ugly outburst was the only way they could release the pain.
I admired the women who could walk away from betrayal with icy composure, cut ties cleanly, take their divorce alimony, and walk out of their husbands‘ lives without a second glance.
I wished I could be like them.
Maybe I could, but I knew I wouldn’t always be able to achieve that.
I was terrified of the nights ahead–the countless nights where my emotions would come surging back and regret would eat away at me.
I didn’t want to sit there wondering why I let them walk away like nothing happened or why I didn’t slap her across the face and rip out her hair.
Inever wanted to question why I let my so–called dignity force me to swallow my rage, only to let it fester inside me for the rest of my life.
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