In past years, it was the day I always spent with Jessica. I would take the day off from work and prepare all the ingredients for our meals. We would stay in the house together all day without going anywhere.
I dropped everything just to be there for her. We would talk, watch movies, water the plants on the balcony, and make dinner. I would wait for her to finish eating, then drape a blanket over her and watch her drift off to sleep on the couch.
Her mother’s death anniversary was a day only she and I remembered. She never told anyone else—not even Selena.
The impact Jessica’s mother’s suicide had on her wasn’t obvious to anyone else. The rumors at the time said her mother had been unfaithful, almost abandoning her family to run off abroad with her lover.
So, after her mother’s death, Jessica continued on as usual. She went to work every day, showing no outward signs of being affected.
But I knew.
I knew Jessica was grieving. Every little movement, every gesture, even the smile on her face, was soaked in sadness.
I looked at the red mark on the calendar and silently erased it.
–
Today, I took my usual day off.
But instead of being with Jessica, I spent the day at an amusement park with Selena. For lunch, we went to the restaurant she’d been raving about for weeks, the one that served the best Eastern cuisine.
In the evening, I got a call from Jessica.
“Why didn’t you come?” she asked, sounding tired.
“Lena asked me to stay with her,” I replied.
On the other end of the line, there was a long silence.
After a while, Jessica finally asked, “Do you know what today is?”
“I know, but today is Selena’s birthday. You should’ve had Cameron spend the day with you.”
Jessica laughed bitterly. “I told him about today a week ago, but he still went mountain biking with his friends early in the morning. He’s nothing like you. He doesn’t care about my feelings.”
I sighed softly. “Relationships take work, you know. Both people have to meet halfway.”
Realizing that might have sounded too cold, I took a deep breath, changed my tone, and tried to comfort her.
“Are you okay? If you’re feeling down, go for a walk or call a friend to hang out.”
There was a long pause, then she hummed faintly in agreement before hanging up.
She had made her choice, and so had I.
I already started my new life; I couldn’t be there for her forever.
The next morning, I woke up to two missed calls from Jessica. The first was at midnight, the second at two in the morning. During that time, I had already set my phone to silent and was sound asleep.
Looking at the missed calls, I couldn’t help but remember the times when I would spend the entire night tossing and turning after Jessica and I argued. My chest would tighten like a dirty rag being twisted—dry, wrinkled, and painful. Eventually, unable to take the pain anymore, I would cave in and reach out to her first.
Back then, I was too scared to call. I would carefully craft the perfect text, choosing every word with caution, each sentence dripping with helplessness and humility.
No matter what we were fighting about, Jessica got used to me always being the one to apologize first. She would nod and play it cool, then we would make up like nothing had happened.
But last night, I had stayed up too late with Selena. After she went home, I barely managed to wash my face before collapsing into bed, exhausted.
If I hadn’t seen Jessica’s missed calls when I woke up, I probably would’ve forgotten about her entirely.
I thought for a moment, then decided to send her a quick message: [I was already asleep last night. Did you need something?]
After sending it, I got up and got ready for the day. When I picked up my phone again, I saw that Jessica had replied faster than I expected.
Her message was short: [It’s nothing.]
