Synopsis
I hooked up with my best friend after a drunken night out. The next morning, he sat shirtless at the edge of the bed, frowning as he smoked a cigarette. When I saw the regret on his face, I quickly said, “Look, we’re both adults here. It was just sex. I’m not expecting you to wife me up or anything.”
He looked relieved. “Good, because… I actually have a girlfriend.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. “A girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” he said seriously. “I’m planning to bring her home for Christmas this year.” His eyes held mine. “When you meet her, you know what to say and what not to say, right? We’re cool?”
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Chapter 1: The Morning After
After a moment of silence, I forced my lips into a smile. “Of course we’re cool.
That’s what best friends are for, right?”
Jake looked satisfied as he stubbed out his cigarette and got up to dress. Morning sunlight streamed through the window, highlighting his perfectly sculpted body as he moved. His broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist, with abs that looked like they were carved from marble. The V–line at his hips disappeared tantalizingly into his boxer briefs, and his biceps flexed subtly with every movement.
“That’s my girl,” he said with a smirk. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got this buddy who’s just as hot as me. I’ll set you two up.”
Before leaving, he turned back at the door. “Hey Autumn, remember how we promised that whoever found true love first, the other would be happy for them? You’ll be happy for me, right?”
I kept smiling like my face would crack. “Obviously. When you two get married, I’ll give you the biggest damn gift at your wedding.”
He flashed that heart–melting grin and left.
After he was gone, I picked up his half–smoked cigarette and lit it, taking a deep drag. I’ve never been good at smoking–Jake had tried to teach me several times, but I always ended up coughing my lungs out.
This time was no different. The smoke burned my throat raw, making me double over in a coughing fit until my eyes watered and my vision blurred. How many years had I been secretly in love with Jake? Seven years now, I think. Last night had been like any other night out–dinner, too many tequila shots, and
then… I’m not sure who made the first move, but I remember his hands in my hair,
my back against the wall, clothes being torn off as we stumbled to the bedroom. He’d pinned my wrists above my head, his mouth exploring every inch of my body, leaving marks where only I would see them. When we finally came together, I’d whispered his name as years of fantasy. became reality. The moment had been everything I’d dreamed about–our connection so intense, until we both finally
collapsed, breathless and content.
When I woke up this morning, my nervous excitement shattered instantly when I saw his furrowed brow. The pleasant soreness between my thighs suddenly felt meaningless compared to the ache in my chest. Forcing a casual tone, I’d said those words: “Look, we’re both adults here. It was just sex.”
I watched as Jake visibly relaxed, a hint of a smile appearing on his face. “Good,” he’d said.
I always thought Jake had some feelings for me. Apart from not having the official title of a couple, we’d done practically everything couples do.
He hated dorm life, so throughout our four years of college, I’d take the train almost every weekend to visit him, cleaning his off–campus apartment.
We’d grocery shop together, cook together, curl up on the couch playing video games together. His arm always found its way around my shoulders during movie nights, and sometimes he’d absentmindedly play with my hair.
He was always good to me, bringing me gifts from wherever he went,
remembering my birthday and every holiday, never missing a single one in all
these years.
After so long, I’d fallen into the delusion that we were just one confession away from a beautiful future together.
Turns out, it was all in my head.
I used to wonder why so many people were addicted to nicotine.
Now I understand.
Nicotine doesn’t bring pleasure; it just makes the pain a little more bearable. That day, I taught myself to smoke without anyone showing me how.
