Cameron brought me back to the orphanage. Strips of cloth hung from the oak tree. They were filled with the wishes of the children living at the orphanage. At the end of each strip was a small bell that rang each time the wind blew.
Beside the tree were small brick flower beds filled with roses and sunflowers.
Cameron reached out and stroked each bell. He looked like a walking corpse whose soul had been sucked out, leaving nothing but bitterness and sorrow behind..
His voice was choked as he said, “After you left, I searched for ages without ever finding your bell, so I tied a bell to every single strip of cloth here. That way, it’s as though you’ve never left. It’s as if you simply returned to the orphanage.
“For a long time after you left, I kept thinking I did no wrong. I stubbornly believed you were the one who’d changed. But later on. I found out the truth about what happened at the cold storage. It was then that I slowly saw Elaine’s true colors and started suspecting the truth about past incidents.
“I came to the sudden realization that you’d remained the same all along. I was the one who’d changed.”
Cameron held me by the shoulders. He, who was always strong–willed and strong–headed, chose to compromise. Eyes reddened, he said, “I know I made a mistake. Let’s go back to the way we used to be. Can you give me a chance?”
Instead of replying to his question, I pulled up my sleeves to reveal the scars on my skin. Pointing at a patch on my arm, I said, “This is from the burn I got from being scalded with the soup when Elaine got an allergic reaction. You two took her side while I had to put up with the hurt and aggrievedness I felt.
“I had no idea Elaine was allergic to peanuts. I only found out much later when I asked another colleague.”
I pointed at my other scars, saying, “I got these after being left in the cold storage. Even though they managed to save me in time, I’ll still have to live with these scars. I’m forced to hide them with long sleeves and pants even in the dead of summer.
“That incident also damaged my body. The doctor told me I would have a hard time getting pregnant. However, these things aren’t that important to me. The physical hurt is nothing compared to my wounded heart. I cared too much about you two. Every single thing you guys said hurt me deeply. I thought it would kill me when I left, but instead, I felt unusually calm and relaxed.”
I continued, “I’m showing you these scars because I have a question for you. What makes you think I would give you a chance to continue hurting me? Because of the promise you made? I only ended up like this because I believed in the promises you two made.”
Cameron froze. His lips trembled. Though he sorely wanted to say that he wouldn’t repeat his past mistakes, he couldn’t get the words out of his mouth.
Once trust was broken, it was impossible to regain as though nothing had changed.
Farewells often seemed sudden, as if a sudden storm had hit. But in reality, they were the culmination of the little droplets that eventually formed the storm cloud.
Looking at Cameron, I smiled and said, “Let’s play one last game, Cameron. Remember the game ‘Freeze‘
