Chapter Twenty–Six
MARCUS
1:+25 BONUS
It was the waiting that killed me. Just sitting there and not knowing what was going on, while my demons ran freely in my head and made me question every decision I’d ever made, that was the brutal part.
My hands were covered in blood, and even my shirt was stained with Emily’s blood from when I carried her straight to the hospital. I didn’t even want to look at that, because the guilt was eating up at me from the inside.
I was sitting outside the OR, unable to look at anyone who walked past me. The only time I would look up was when the doors to the theatre swung open, and my heart would skip a beat as I braced myself for the inevitable. But then a nurse would come scurrying past with a worried expression on her face, and I would sink into depression once again.
It was all my fault. Why couldn’t I just learn to control my anger? Why did I have to let the darkness take over? 1 knew it was wrong even in the moment, but I just couldn’t stop myself. No matter how badly I screamed at myself, desperately trying to pull back from hitting my own wife, I just couldn’t help it.
I’m the fucking devil.
If anything happened to my child, I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself.
The doors swung open suddenly, and I looked up to find the doctor walking out with a somber expression on his face. I immediately knew something was wrong, and it took every bit of my strength left to not stand up and start screaming in his face.
“Mr Reynard,” he said calmly, “your wife lost a lot of blood. Her injuries were substantial, and she had a broken collarbone and few cracked ribs.”
He listed them off as if he was reciting from a grocery list, and I couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to talk about this, like he was simply talking about the weather. But I forced myself to stay quiet, and I simply stared at him and waited for the inevitable.
“Thankfully, we were able to save her. Your wife is safe, Mr Reynard.”
Relied washed over me like a tidal wave. I almost couldn’t breathe, and I couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto my face.
“Thank you so much, doctor,” I said. “I’m so relieved to hear that.”
“That’s not all, Mr Reynard,” he said in a clipped tone. “Unfortunately, given the nature of the injuries and the severity, I’m afraid there’s nothing we could do to save the baby. She suffered a miscarriage.”
It was like a knife to the heart. I couldn’t breathe as I dropped to my knees, the pain and anguish taking over me completely. I wanted to scream and rip my own heart out. I wanted to punch through a wall until my fingers shattered against the co concrete. I wanted to slam my head against the wall, and somehow find a way to reverse all of this. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do. Nothing would ever bring my child back.
I stared at my blood–soaked hands, and the pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt in my entire life. I’d done this to myself. With my own hands. I’d destroyed the last bit of happiness I could have obtained in this world, and all for what? I was broken. Helpless. Every negative emotion I’d ever felt in my entire life came crashing down on me, and all I could do was just sit there and take it.
Unfortunately, I still didn’t realise that the universe just loved to kick a man when he was down. And it was in that moment, at my lowest point in life, when the universe decided to twist the knife even deeper.
“Mr Reynard, there are some men here who would like to talk to you,” the doctor said, and I heard two men
